“Men fear thought as
they fear nothing else on earth - more than ruin - more even than death....
Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is
merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit.
Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and
swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man."
- Bertrand Russell
1872-1970
If today, I stood in
the light of him and he asked me why I should walk by his side forevermore. I
really do not know what reasons I would advance. But again, need I do that? I
thought when I was a child, I was told he keeps a little black book on us.
Anyway, let us say he
indeed asks me. Well, perhaps now that on May 30, this year I turned fifty (50),
I have enough years of looking back and searching wherein my existence there
would be answers justifying my walking by his side forevermore.
Looking back, it has
been a tortuous 50 years of existence, a time of dancing with the devils. The
salient features of these times are the governance impunity and developmental
ineptitude I have witnessed over the years; and of course, the evidenced
failings in academia, an environment I have known for half my life time. A
disjuncture in the latter can have dire consequences in attempts to correct the
former. Hence, the two are interlocked and mutually self reinforcing.
That I have witnessed
many of my fellow humans failing to walk with me, and falling before me, is often
because many a time our primal behaviours are those of self-absorption and self-aggrandisement.
We delude ourselves that we exist as “me”
and/or, and “mine”. In our delusions,
the boundaries of our existence are most often defined by how I am going to be there with me and mine. And when I
arrive there, our minds now shift to how
I am going to protect the there for me and mine. Arrival syndrome, I often call it. “I have arrived, it is me, Mbinji Mufalo, and I am not coming down soon.
I will fight for where I am.”
Of course, it is you,
you have arrived. But did you really get to your there by yourself? The answer is no, as I know when I stand in the
light of him, he will remind me that if he really wanted to be only me he would have created only me. But he did not. He created me, you
and those multitudes we watch failing to walk with us, and those who have
already fallen before us.
On academia,
and the witnessed governance impunity and developmental ineptitude, surely,
here I know I will be nailed. This is because deep in me, I always doubt that there
has been a symphony of beatitude[1] in my life. I really do not think I can claim an
existence in a state of supreme happiness. How can that be when I know I have not
done enough to mitigate the effects of inertia in academia, and impunity and
ineptitude in governance for those who fail to walk with us and indeed those
who fell before us?
Academia in my motherland
is an affliction. It is an environment of great suffering, distress due to
adversity and indeed self-absorption and self-aggrandisement. Criticism and
reasoning are mostly conceived as transgressions.
If I may digress. This,
however, seems to pervade our everyday existence. Someone does something or
presents something that is surely hogwash, we still start by saying “that was very good”. And in rare
occasions when we seem to be forthright we are apologetic about it. In such rare
times, we again start by saying, “that
was very good, but I am sorry…”.
In academia, it is a
common occurrence that academic staff think students are dodos, and also think
anyone outside their field of study is a dodo, too. Hence, over time the
essence of academia as a principle change agent always dissipates in the
evening wind.
I work in this
environment, and I am culpable of its inability to have changed the
circumstances of the majority of our people. The definition of the country we desire and/or
the change we need to uplift many of our fellow humans that fail to walk with us
is no longer evidenced in academia. Our research agendas and discourses are
often driven by being me, and more so
being me in the eyes of those who do
not exist in our spaces of influence. That is, those who merely use us to
understand spaces that they seek to influence tomorrow.
How it be, that fifty
(50) years after independence day, our children still do not know why they are
citizens of the country we call Zambia? Exactly what are our individual
characteristics by which we are recognised as Zambians? I know there are some who
will say, we are identified as a people because we are a Christian nation. Lest
we forget, when I stand in the light of him, he will definitely ask me, what
Christian values have we adhered to? Do our children know these values?
Well, and I also always ask, do these values have any evidenced developmental stewardship?
We have failed, I have
failed. Academia has failed.
Identity defines a
people. It defines their aspirations and the change they desire. Identity
inherently is determined by shared values. Decades ago such attempts were made,
much more with the interrogation of humanism as a national ideology and also these values created a national identity. Problem was, the man at centre was not me. It was him. The other him,
during those times. I always remember how my lower primary school teacher
nearly tore my ears off my head when I once said, “when I grow up, I want to be
the president” (With hindsight this still happens today. You cannot aspire to
be him without any serious
consequences). The man had asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up. He
never told us which ones where the don’ts.
Anyway, humanism was
not sustainable. After that, what next should have been the question?
Clearly, academia did
not and has not answered this question. An example that comes to mind is how
with the demise of humanism in our education curricula we have continued to
have a void with respect to what values define us. We are teaching our children zilch!
We are not teaching our
children that freedom is inviolable; that wealth creation is the pinnacle;
and, that the public good (i.e., services and delivery commodities) is sacrosanct.
To which end, whatever research
we do or works we do, without any defined identity, these can seldom serve to change
the undesirable circumstances the majority of our people find themselves in. Many
will still fail to walk with us, and many will still fall before us. We can
have some walk with us, we can have a few fall before us, if we introspect and start to define ourselves, and not me,
in our academic pursuits.
For many, the witnessed
governance impunity and developmental ineptitude is a state that politicians
are ultimately responsible. Well, I always agree and disagree.
I agree because a
politician is me. He or she is also soaked
in self-absorption and self-aggrandisement. To expect anything different is
merely sophism. We change me, then we
can change the politician’s governance impunity and developmental ineptitude.
If we grew up, the
children grew up being taught or knowing that freedom is inviolable, wealth
creation is the pinnacle, and the public good is sacrosanct,
then surely the politician will not be what he or she is often today. And this
is why I also disagree that the politician is responsible for our retrograde
state. Perhaps, it is time we accepted that instilling identity and values in
our people can intrinsically serve to create a population that provides better
oversight on its leaders.
In conclusion,
therefore, If today, I stood in the light of him and he asked me why I should
walk by his side forevermore, I would simply tell him: “I am sorry, my life has never been a symphony of beatitude. I
have failed you, please let me just
walk past you and continue dancing with the devils”.
Ora pro nobis.
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