Of rogues, ethnicity and beauty

 February 7, 2020

Once upon a time, in a bar in Lusaka. Not too many moons ago.

"Lozis are not good people. They just love themselves. They just use Lozi when they meet." The chap says in ichibemba.

"And Mbinji?" A mutual friend asks him.

"Why mention him? He is Bemba." Hilarious laughter followed.

A closer Bemba friend, drummed the table in comical merriment. A Tonga one, imitated that "who who" sounding instrument of theirs. What do they call that witchcraft thing?

"Mbinji is Lozi. He speaks Bemba well, simply because he grew up in Kopala. The chap started school ku Nkana, Ndeke A. And finished secondary school in Chilies," another friend says.

"What is Chilies?" He asked.

"Chililabombwe," I said. "Are you not now feeling stupid," I added. The chap just lowered his eyes, mumbled to himself and left.

In another time, in Livingstone. Many moons before the bar chat.

Walked into the house, and there was this monk sitting at the dining table pigging himself, just like he always did back at college. And this was, in my father's house!

"You! What are you doing in my father's house?" He asks me. Anger and surprise creasing his face. Was I stupefied!

"I live here," I said calmly. A million questions were trying to jump the thought queue in my head. Should I strangle him? Should I find malegeni, and aim for this nuts?

"Huh!" Now the monk was clearly confused.

"Since my father is your father, then you are my brother. Cousin, I mean." Turns out the monk was visiting his uncle, my father, for the first time.

"I am sorry. I just can not believe I called my own brother a tribalist. I am really sorry," he stuttered after reality came to roost.

"But why were you campaigning for Patrick Mpundu in the UNZASU elections?" He asked when it seemed that his marbles were now in equilibria.

"Because he made more sense than you," I had replied. The monk looked away for a minute or so, then burst out laughing. I joined in. We hugged each other.

Fact is. In these two real life experiences, I really thought I could see a tail sneaking between some legs. But even then, a recollection of the events always resulted in us shedding tears of laughter. 

We learned a lot from our own stupidity. We are just all the same. A beautiful people.

Pax vobiscum.